The likeability of Russell Brand (except one thing)

I like the fact that Quentin Blake clearly drew him.

I like his predisposition for curly-wurly words like preposterous and prescriptive parameters and priapic.

I like the fact he loses control of his limbs when he gets all worked up about stuff.

I like the fact he speaks up for people in financial hardship in Britain. God knows, the Screw The Poor Crew are doing their best to make poverty a crime. ‘Hang them all,’ they cry, ‘hang the scrounging scrubbers.’

I like the fact he does meditation. Transcendental meditation at that. I love transcendental meditation. It’s the only time I get a proper break from my head full of stories: those flying carpets; those concertina jams; those helter skelter rides. Meditation calms everything.

I like the fact he sticks up for addicts. He explains that addicts are in fact human beings who need treatment to recover.

I like the fact he sticks up for our planet – our precious home, how beautiful the Earth is, how breakable. He points out that we dig the grave of our planet with gold and platinum spades. He shouts out that it is impossible to understand the politicians who ignore that we are destroying our planet; instead they focus on the next round of capitalist greed and expect us to be thankful when they declare that we’ve avoided a triple dip, or we’re out of a double dip, or we’re face first in a sherbet dip – they snort and snigger whilst they ignore the health of our planet.

I like the fact he said Jeremy Paxman has a gorgeous beard on Newsnight.

I like the fact that Jeremy Paxman definitely fancied him a bit in that interview about revolution and beards and not voting – and all the time, he just cannot keep his limbs under control, he’s just so excited by what he’s saying.

There’s a lot to like about Russell Brand. His name’s an anagram of RUBS ALL NERDS, for god’s sake.

I mean, what is not to like?

Oh yeah, just the lazy way he talks about half the population.

A revolution Brand-style? 

Follow the Pied Piper to Misogyny Mountain?


While he’s a lazy sexist, Russell Brand is a joker not a revolutionary.

Perhaps that’s what Russell wants most of all anyway – not to be taken seriously by anyone, ever. He even says so himself: ‘first and foremost I want to have a fucking laugh‘. And I like him for that life mission, I really do.

But sooner or later, women will stop sleeping with Russell Brand. And then maybe he’ll reconsider whether his words about women are really all that funny.

In the mean time, I’ll read the Twits until 2015, then I’ll put my pencil X in a paper box for change – and if those Bloody Blues get in again, I’ll get a job as a chef at the Conservative Party Conference and make them some lovely worm spaghetti.

7 thoughts on “The likeability of Russell Brand (except one thing)

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